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BirD_girL
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Name: Jennifer
Birthday: 9/26/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: Art, fashion, shopping, nutrition, baking, history, art history, literature, wushu, dance, colorguard, winterguard, guard, and guard.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/20/2003
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| Goodbye to 4 years of satisfying, devoted blogging. Maybe I'll start using this thing again, who knows? So much of my life from middle to high school has been documented here. It's like a coming of age chronicle. Anyways xanga is a thing of the past now.
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Today my mind fell apart yet again. I always fall apart every so often, sometimes for no reason, and sometimes because there is a dreaded thing in the near future. It always results in me eating a sickening amount of fat/sugar (yes, more than I already do), and then moping around while staring into space with my mouth hanging open. I dunno... I just feel like my drive, my goal, my emotions, my discipline, my foundation.... has all been dismantled. It triggers this really depressing loneliness and pointlessness for the rest of the night. Then I'm fine the next day. But really, I wish this cycle would just stop. It's obviously not good for my mental or physical health.
I think Lynbrook is a good place to attend in some ways, but this year I finally realized how detrimental Lynbrook is to my true character, abilities, and deepest ambitions. So tell me WHY!!!! I HATE this place sometimes. I hate comparing myself to other students, even though I do it all the time. I hate worrying and worrying without end, worrying about how good I am, so I can get into a decent college, where I'm probably going to worry more. I hate letting my test scores and grades determine my self-worth and my value as a God-created human being!!! So.... WHY???
Because (and I say this only in application to myself) Lynbrook, I have discovered, and not its individuals but rather it as a whole, has served to be one big personal and inescapable form of oppression.
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Jenn returns to rant yet again!!
I don't get it. The VT Masscre. Just look around. This kind of stuff happens all the time in our own country but we don't pay attention. What's worse is, countless American companies are at fault for the abuse of human rights in other nations by employing hundreds of thousands of children, cheating them into work, paying insufficient wages, and then trying to hide it from the consumerist public. So, on our end of the production proceess we buy cool crap (or even groceries) and then remain oblivious to the people on the other end of the process. Ok, sorry if I sounded really dumb for comparing the VT Massacre with this but it makes sense to me. When something finally happens to us we care. We Americans are so selfish sometimes. NOT that I'm saying we should feel any less aggrieved for those lives lost and their loved ones.
My heart goes out to the dead, their family, and their friends. But my heart goes out to the killer because he must have gone through something I could never understand, or suffered from chemical imbalances in the brain. Of all the people who died I feel most strongly for him because a horrible power(beyond the decency and civility that we know, which makes it all the more frightening), whatever that power may have been, has possessed him for all these years. And that scares me; and it makes me think of him all the more- because he needed help. Like, major help.
Learning from this tragedy, we're starting to heighten security measures in schools and colleges across the nation. But I think that the best thing we could do to prevent this from happening again starts with reaching out to people who need guidance.
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This week I watched Sky High. I loved it. <3 Then I watched Battle Royale. It was really gross and lame... I don't get it. Stupid freshmen goring each other like brainless savages... I think the filmmakers are twisted.
heheh this is really cheesy but I adore it. This is my new love :]
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The entire Mika album: Life in Cartoon Motion is finally out!!! :D :::>>Party party party!<<:::
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